I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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