I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I think I just shit out all my problems.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
