oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
