I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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