I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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