wrigley field is MILF paradise
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
