I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize