I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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