I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
my poor anus
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
