He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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