On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
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She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
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There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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