dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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