remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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