I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
