Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
