ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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