I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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