Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize