I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
