By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize