Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
