I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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