It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
