no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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