So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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