you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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