I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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