plz talk dirty to me
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
