i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
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