when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
