Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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