Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
