The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
