and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
