I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
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