you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
