haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
