Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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