You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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