We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
he shaved USA in his pubs
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
