Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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