Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
