she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
