i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Dick very happy bro
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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