I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
