He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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