ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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