it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
