high people should be assigned attendants
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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