My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Randomize
