Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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