this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
