There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
