she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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