Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
me + whiskey = a bad person
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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