grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
